...And The Flames Went Higher
- As we approach Valentine's day that quote could mean anything. Alas, it ain't so. I chose that quote because my PCR results are down (which is good), but my fever is up (100).
- My PCR number is 3.5 and not the 0.000000 I had hoped. My previous PCR number was 35+, so I thought a 3.5 sounded pretty good. Then the PA said, "well a one log (one decimal place) reduction is the margin of error in this test." So, that means I may not have had any reduction at all if the test is just wacky. It's all about the trends or movements in the tests. I have a bone marrow biopsy/aspiration and PCR in three weeks. We will know more when those results come back.
- The other blood markers are good. Thank you dark green veggies and vitamins.
- During the past week I have been very sick to my stomach in the middle of the night. The side effect is odd since I don't think I had it during the first go round with chemo. However, the acupuncture seems to be helping with the nausea and fatigue. Now I need something to knock out the fever again. Blech. I am tired of being tired.
- I am grateful for the medicines and the support. I am just not loving the isolation that comes with being so tired. Some days I can do what the 'unsick' folks do, but then I pay for it the next day when I can't do anything. I want to go out and do things so I can be with people. When I'm out, I don't want to look sick or be sick. The kickback comes when I am useless later from being overtired. Cancer sucks. I think I will choose not to have it.
- In other news, I spent the morning on the phone with the insurance company going over outstanding bills (about $30,000 worth). I have been approved for the bone marrow transplant per the insurance comapny anyway. They agreed to reiew all the 'not approved' charges and get back to me. So far it's good news and I will take it as a win for today (knock wood).
- There are lots of good things happening. We received some great cards, emails and donations. We are cleaning out the closets, scrubbing down the house, and getting rid of tons of stuff. I want to feel good about coming home and having a peaceful space for me and Lili. As long as there are so many things that need to be done/fixed/repaired, I feel torn as to what to do next. Most of the time I just finish making dinner and go to bed. I am better, but I feel like I'm missing out on the life I really wanted. More on that topic later.
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